By Matata Mercy
Today iam going to share with you a blog post about how you can build or create intimacy in your relationhips. I read a story about a blogger and author called Steve Pavlina who said that he once ran a sotfware company that designed video games.
And during that time he was only focused on getting one big publisher who could change the fortunes of his games business.
The one publisher who could keep his business going. He said that his business was thriving whenever that one publisher that he zeroed on was bringing in the deals and willing to publish his games.
Other times his business had no money to pay the company bills, or even the employees whenever that one big publisher had no deals or intention of publishing games from his business.
Time came his business ran bankrupt and with little money left in the bank. This was when deals were not coming from the one publisher he had hope in. That is how some people behave in relationships.
They choose one person and conclude this is "the one" that they will be with.
This happens even when they have not yet had the chance to know this person very well. It is very okay to call a person the one when you have already known this person well for sometime.
You have interacted with her and know that she is equally interested in being intimate with you.
But zeroing on a woman prematurely just after you have met her for the first time will create alot of stress, anxiety to you for nothing especially if she rejects you. What happens when the woman that you have labelled as the one for you rejects you.
You end up without a partner and lonely in this world.
For the case of Steve Pavlina, in order to change the fortunes of his business, he realized that zeroing on one publisher will not get the results he wants and he started accepting business from small publishers who were accepting small games. And he also got lincense from other game studios to sell their games.
And when he did that, his sales skyrocketed and was able to make more money. His business thrived.
He reached a point where he was no longer attached to outcomes. if a game sold it was all good for him. If a game did not sale, it did not affect him. Instead he focused on selling other games that were in the pipeline.
This is how i think your relationships should be run. You do not need to approach people with the end result or outcome in your mind.
If you are attracted to a woman, you do not need to approach her with the thought that she is the one you will build intimacy with.
For my case when iam attracted to a woman, i will try to get to know her first. I will not set a date with her the first time we meet. Instead, i will hang out with her and enjoy some conversations with her.
Try to understand her well as a human being. From there i will judge if she is interested in me and then we can see where things go.
This puts the pressure off her. I will not appear desperate or needy in her eyes. My goal initially is to make this woman comfortable around me, some one she can trust and be open with. I will try to open up to her so that she can also understand me better.
Then after i have seen her reaction towards me, known her boundaries. I can know if she is interested or not. If she is interested and willing to be intimate with me, then i continue with her.
If she is not, then it is also okay. I will leave the door open for to come whenever she is ready. I will tell her that if she ever changes her mind she can contact me.
In most cases being honest with your intentions will bring results. If you have already known this woman for some time, tell her that if she likes you can play with her.
If she says yes enjoy being intimate with her. If she says no, move on.
There are many potential suitors out there who are willing to be intimate with you. Billions of people to have fun with. Good luck.
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