By Matata Mercy
Every body wants to enjoy the good things that life can offer.
We want to have the jobs that we like.We want to make lots of money.
We want to have an amazing relationship with great sex. It is easy to want and desire the good things in life.
Any one can desire any good feelings in life but not everyone can bear the pain that comes along with it.
Everyone wants a high paying job but we don't want to spend 16 hours everyday staring at a computer screen or even analysing useless statistical data on the spreadsheets.
Everyone wants an amazing relationship with great sex but we are not willing to tolerate the awkward silence, the unanswered calls, and even have the hard conversations with our partners.
If you are overweight, you want to lose weight but you are not willing to spend two hours everyday lifting weights at the gym.
In simple terms,everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die.
Recently, i asked a friend of mine, 'what do you want out of life?'.
He replied by telling me that he wants a high paying job that he loves and an amazing family.
I then asked him another question,'what don't you want out of life?'
He answered by saying he doesnot want any bad painful experience out of life.
The truth is that no one wants to feel pain.
We all want to have pleasure. But some pain is necessary if we are going to get our desired goals.
The fundamental question we should be asking is 'what pain are you willing to have in your life?'
Another thought provoking question is 'what are you willing to struggle for?'
Most people look at pain as something negative that is supposed to be avoided at all costs.
Although the reality is that it is to be embraced.
The truth is that you can give meaning to the pain that you are willing to go through and this can give your life a purpose.
Most people don't realise this and they keep asking 'what if?' for years and years.
Truth be told, happiness requires struggle. The positive is actually the side effect of handling the negative.
You can only avoid negative experiences for a short period of time before they start roaring back to your life.
As human beings,our needs are similar.
The positive experiences are easy to handle. It is the negative experiences that we all struggle with.
What we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings that we desire but the bad feelings that we are willing and able to sustain to get us to the good feelings.
What determines your success is not 'what do you want to enjoy?' The question should be 'what pain are you willing to sustain?'
The quality of your life is not determined by the positive experiences in your life but by the negative experiences.
And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.
Sometimes i ask people the question'what do you want to suffer?'.
And people are shocked and perplexed.
But i ask because that tells me more about you than your fantasies and desires.It is the question that will change your life.
It is what makes me,me and you,you. You want the reward and not the struggle.
You want the result and not the process.You are not inlove with the fight, but only the victory.
And life doesn't work that way.
The simple and best answer i can give you is this, Our struggles determine our success.
So my friend, choose your struggles wisely.
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